


je t'aime

by everythingisconnected



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Established Relationship, First Dates, Fluff, Gallifrey, M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 19:26:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11951028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everythingisconnected/pseuds/everythingisconnected
Summary: when theta crashes a TARDIS in modern-day paris, how will him and koschei spend their time stranded there? by going on a cute date of course. featuring theta and koschei in cute woolly sweaters and lots of fluff





	je t'aime

**Author's Note:**

> im complete thoschei trash atm so here's a second fic. can either be read as a sequel to my other fic or on its own

“I should’ve never agreed to this!” 

Koschei was clinging onto the TARDIS console for dear life, narrowly avoiding the sparks flying from it. On the other side, Theta frantically fiddled with levers and buttons, attempting to reach across but getting thrown backwards by the TARDIS jerking about.

“I’m trying!” Theta called out, falling forwards and almost headbutting the console. He stabilised himself and forcefully yanked a lever back in the hope it’d calm the situation down, but to his luck it only made things worse. The TARDIS shook even more, a final giant spark erupting from the time rotor. Both boys found themselves sprawled out on the floor, in complete darkness as the entire system shut down.

Theta rubbed the back of his head, which was definitely gonna be bruised after its collision with the floor. 

“Theta?” he heard his friend’s voice call out from across the room. 

“Yeah?” the blond-haired boy stood up, helplessly staring at the dead console.

“You’re an idiot.” Koschei was a mere silhouette across the room, but Theta could tell he was glaring at him.

“I don’t know where I went wrong,” Theta started panicking, fiddling with dials and levers. “What did I do? Oh gods, I’m gonna fail my TARDIS exam, I’m never gonna be able to leave Gallifrey, I’m-“

“You’re rambling,” Koschei wandered over to his friend’s side. “There must be something we can do. Someone will notice we’re gone, right?”

Theta sighed heavily. “They’re gonna fail me.”

Koschei put an arm around his friend’s shoulders. “You were always a lost cause when it came to flying a TARDIS correctly, Thete.”

Theta chuckled dryly, rolling his eyes. “Thanks, Kosch. Great to know you’re always here to cheer me up.”

“It’s my job,” Koschei said, and Theta nudged him fondly with his arm.

“She’s dead,” Theta leaned forward against the console. “Did I really just kill a TARDIS?”

“Knowing you, yes,” Koschei attempted some levers himself, with no response from the time machine. “I’m sure she’ll fix herself soon enough.”

“What if we’re trapped on an alien planet?” Theta said, running a hand through his hair. “Kosch, what are we gonna do?”  
Koschei sighed. “Theta, you’re such a drama queen. We’ll be out of here in no time.”

By the time he’d finished speaking, Theta was already standing by the doors. The blond-haired boy peered out, only to get blasted in the face with a strong gust of freezing air.

“I think we’re in space!” Theta closed the door immediately, patting his face with his hands to try and warm it up.

“There’s no air in space,” Koschei shook his head. “Let me see.”

He walked past Theta and stepped outside the door. Theta noticed the large amount of snow that was getting blown into the TARDIS. Koschei strode back in, covered in the white powder.

“Not space,” he dusted the snow off his robes. “Definitely a planet. Bit cold, though.”

Theta grinned at the thought of exploring a new planet. “We better be prepared then.”

He disappeared down the corridor, only to reappear moments later holding two thick, woolly sweaters.

Theta pulled one over his head, handing Koschei the other one.

“I look ridiculous,” Koschei complained, the sleeves of the sweater far too long for his arms. 

“Shut up,” Theta took his hands through sweater paws. “You look adorable.”

“I’m not adorable,” Koschei pouted, swinging their hands between them. “I’m ruggedly handsome.”

Theta rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say.”

He hooked an arm around Koschei’s, leading him towards the door. They stepped out together this time.

Theta looked up, shielding his eyes from the snow with his spare arm. Two rows of trees towered each side of them; their shoes sinking into the snow beneath their feet.

“Where are we?” he asked, noticing an incredibly tall building behind the trees. Theta sniffed the air, eyes going wide with realisation. “No _way_.”

“We’re on Earth,” Koschei answered for him. “Year… 2017, at a guess.”

“Kosch!” Theta exclaimed, bouncing on the balls of his feet and tugging at his friend’s arm. “We’re finally here! Earth!”

The blond-haired boy ran ahead, admiring how _different_ this planet was. He’d studied Earth intensely back at the Academy, and he’d always had a fascination for humans and their planet. Maybe he’d fail his TARDIS exam, but it’d be worth it for a chance to visit his favourite planet.

The sky was so blue and tiny blades of green grass occasionally peeked out from the capping of snow. Even the air tasted different, along with the feeling of gravity. Everything about this planet was incredible, and Theta was almost tempted to stay.

Koschei shook his head, smiling fondly. Theta dragging him along for his TARDIS exam had been worth it, even if he wasn’t that interested in Earth. It was seeing Theta so extremely happy and hyped up that made it worth it.

“Look, Kosch!” Theta pointed up at the tall building. “I think they call it ‘the Eiffel Tower’.”

The corner of Koschei’s mouth turned up in a small smile. “So we’re in Paris, France?”

“Looks like it,” Theta grabbed Koschei’s arm again, striding down the street. He no longer cared about the snow that was burying itself in his hair or on his clothes. Gallifreyan winters could get much worse than this. It was nothing compared to those.

“Isn’t this ‘the city of love’?” Koschei smirked. “Theta, did you deliberately fail your exam to have an excuse to take me on a date to your favourite planet?”

Theta laughed. “Of course I didn’t. But we can call it one if you want.”

Koschei suppressed a chuckle, slipping an arm around Theta’s waist. “A date to celebrate Theta failing his TARDIS exam.”

“Stop rubbing it in,” Theta pouted, but leaned into his friend, returning the gesture. Koschei was so comfortable to lean against in that woolly sweater. Theta made a mental note to make him wear it more often.

They stopped near the bottom of the Eiffel Tower. It looked even taller up close. 

“Earth is so beautiful,” Theta remarked, glancing around at the snow-topped buildings and fields. All the people walking around, going about their daily lives. “You’d never see a place like this on Gallifrey.”

Koschei frowned, not finding the planet nearly as interesting as Theta did. But he didn’t want to ruin the moment. “Anywhere you want to go?”

Theta hadn’t stopped smiling since he’d stepped foot outside the TARDIS. “I don’t know! There’s so many choices, I want to go everywhere.”

Koschei chuckled. “Maybe another time. How about,” he squeezed Theta’s waist, “I take you on a human date.”

Theta blushed madly, Koschei wasn’t the biggest fan of humans, but he was suggesting this to make _him_ happy. “How could I refuse an offer like that?”

They looked into each other’s eyes. Theta leaned forward, one hand on Koschei’s cheek, and softly kissed him. Koschei immediately reciprocated, placing his spare hand over Theta’s, licking across his lips with his tongue. Theta smiled into the kiss, pressing their lips together for a moment longer before breaking apart.

“Come on then, date,” Theta grinned, tugging at Koschei’s arm as they walked underneath the Eiffel Tower, footsteps crunching against the snow. 

“What do humans usually do on ‘dates’?” Koschei frowned, glancing around and observing the occasional human couple that walked past. 

“Movie, restaurant, something like that,” Theta replied, eyes never stopping scanning the new environment.

“Hmm,” Koschei bit his lip in thought.

Theta turned to see a group of girls taking pictures in front of the Eiffel Tower. They were using a chunky looking camera, and he observed a few seconds later the girl taking the picture pulling out a small piece of paper from the camera.

In a second he was gone from Koschei’s side, jogging over towards the girls. Koschei looked on in confusion, walking in the direction his friend had disappeared in.

Theta thought for a moment before starting conversation. This was Earth, France, so they spoke French. Which was luckily one of the languages he knew fluently. The translation circuits of the TARDIS were offline along with the rest of it, so he couldn’t rely on that.

“Hey,” he said to them in French. “Is that a camera?”

The girls stared at him, trying not to laugh. 

“Um, yeah,” the girl with the camera said. “Who are you?”

“I, uh, just wondered if you could take a picture of me and my friend?” he glanced back in Koschei’s direction. “I’ll give you-“ he rummaged around in his pockets, pulling out a pair of earrings made from white-point stars. “-these?”

The girl slowly walked up to him, examining the items in his palm. “Are those real diamonds?”

“Yeah, they’re pretty rare,” Theta frowned at them. “Don’t know what they were doing in my pocket. Take them.”

The girl took them, turning around to show them to her friends who all looked pretty shocked at some random guy offering them diamonds in return for a picture.

She turned back to Theta. “Sure, I’ll take your picture.”

“Thanks,” Theta smiled, pulling Koschei next to him from the place behind him where he was awkwardly lurking. “C’mon Kosch.”

Koschei frowned in confusion as Theta slipped an arm around his waist, smiling at the camera. The girl crouched down a few metres away, the flash going off as she snapped a photo. 

The camera printed the photo out, and the girl handed it to Theta, still looking kind of awkward. Theta smiled at her, pulling Koschei off in the opposite direction. He peeled the film off the photo, revealing a small polaroid image of them both in front of the tower.

“Isn’t this cute?” he showed the picture to Koschei, who couldn’t hold back a grin. “I’m keeping it.”

“Thete, you’re such a dork,” Koschei mumbled, pressing a kiss into Theta’s snow-covered hair. 

“But you love me,” Theta smirked, as they wandered towards the other buildings behind the trees. 

“Unfortunately, I do,” Koschei said with a fond smile. His eyes lit up when he spotted a small café behind some trees, conveniently right next to a bank with a cash machine outside.

Koschei led Theta to the cash machine. “Your ‘sonic screwdriver’ might come in handy right now.”

Theta smiled, reaching in his pocket for the device and pointing it at the machine. It immediately churned out three 10€ notes. Theta grabbed them and passed them to his friend.

“So you’re taking me to this place?” Theta said as they entered the café, choosing a small sofa by the window to sit down on. “Kosch, I never knew you could be so romantic.”

“Shut up,” Koschei rolled his eyes, scanning the menu. “Or I’ll have to kiss you.”

Theta snorted. “That’s a pretty poor threat. Should I annoy you more often?”

He rested his chin on Koschei’s shoulder, peering down at the menu. “I heard chocolate muffins are nice. And tea.”

“We’ll get those then,” Koschei said, repeating their order to the waitress who’d come to their table. She smiled and walked back behind the counter.

“Look at the view,” Theta stared out of the window. It was pretty perfect; with the trees topped with snow and the Eiffel Tower not that far away. The buildings and the people made it feel so much like _Earth_ , and Theta loved it more than anything. Except Koschei of course.

While they waited for their order to arrive, Koschei listened to Theta rambling about the beauty of this planet, and how happy he was to be here. It was the cutest thing he’d seen, even though he’d never admit that out loud. Theta was grinning like an idiot, gesticulating wildly with his arms. 

They thanked the waitress when she placed the muffin and tea on a tray on their table. Theta immediately reached for the muffin, taking a bite out of it.

“Mmm, Earth food is delicious!” he exclaimed, passing it to Koschei who took another bite.

Koschei nodded, appreciating the taste. “It really is.”

He broke off some of the muffin and pushed it between Theta’s lips. Theta happily accepted it, almost swallowing the piece whole in excitement. 

“We should go on more dates like this,” Theta smiled to himself, as Koschei took another bite and passed the muffin back to him. 

“There aren’t many places like this on Gallifrey,” Koschei’s eyes were drawn to how Theta licked his lips, savouring the taste of the muffin. 

“We’ll find a way,” Theta said, finishing the muffin and reaching for the tea. “When we get our own TARDIS, we’ll come to Earth more often.”

Koschei scoffed. “Like we’re gonna be allowed a TARDIS after you fail your exam.”

“You’ll pass yours on my behalf,” Theta said, sipping the tea. It made him feel all warm inside, which was especially appreciated after experiencing the chilly weather outside. “Try some of this.”

Koschei sipped the tea, then began downing half the cup.

“Leave some for me!” Theta whined, but was only left with a tiny pool at the bottom of the mug. He frowned, finishing it off.

Koschei smirked. “There’s still some left over.”

“There isn’t, because you finished it all,” Theta said. “Some date you are.”

Koschei had that playful glint in his eyes as he shifted closer to Theta, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “You sure?”

Theta subconsciously leaned into him. “Yes, I’m su-“

He was cut off by a pair of lips pressed against his. Theta gasped, giggling as he tasted the tea on Koschei’s lips. Of course that’s what he’d meant. They kissed deeply, Theta savouring the sweet taste on his friend’s tongue. He reached for Koschei’s spare hand on his lap, lacing their fingers together and doing the thumb rub. Their hands were practically hidden by the long sleeves of their sweaters.

By now they’d caught the attention of a few other customers at the café, who awkwardly stared at the pair making out on the sofa. A moment later, they pulled back, foreheads pressed together and breath mingling.

“That’s how humans finish a date, isn’t it?” Koschei whispered, toying with Theta’s fingers. The blond-haired boy blushed, hiding his face in Koschei’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, barely audible. Theta just lay there for a while, snuggled into Koschei’s side in a comfortable silence. They sat together and enjoyed each other’s company, with the wind howling outside and flakes of snow hitting the frosted window.

“Don’t fall asleep on me, Thete,” Koschei said, rubbing a soothing hand on his friend’s shoulder. 

“You’re too comfortable,” Theta refused to move, leaving a small kiss on the underside of Koschei’s jaw.

Koschei smirked, rising to his feet. “No date’s complete without a snowball fight.”

Theta pouted at the loss next to him. “You always win though. I swear you cheat.”

“You can’t cheat at a snowball fight,” Koschei said, extending an arm to help Theta up. “What, you’re _scared_?”

“Shut up, of course I’m not,” Theta hooked his arm through Koschei’s again, tossing the money onto the table before they headed back outside. “Fine, I’ll challenge you to a snowball fight.”

They spent the rest of their time in Paris hurling snowballs at each other as if they were kids again. By the time it was over, both were trudging back to the TARDIS even more covered in snow than they’d been before. Eventually the time machine decided to fix itself, recovering from Theta’s poor piloting skills.

The date and detour to Earth were worth the trouble they got in when they returned though. Of course, Theta failed his TARDIS exam, but at least he could brag to his friends that even if it was by chance, he’d finally visited his favourite planet, with his favourite person.

**Author's Note:**

> pls leave kudos if u enjoyed!! or even a comment :)


End file.
